How to make sure you are not rude
Politeness is of high value in Japan. These 7 etiquette tips are taught to every Japanese child. If you become friends with Japanese people, or are perhaps a student living with a Japanese host family make sure to take note of these so you can make a good impression. If you don’t do these things you might not even realize you’re being rude because Japanese people will not point out your mistakes. Don’t stress about it too much though! Just try your best and they will appreciate your efforts.
Our background
Hannah was born and grew up in the US, so she isn’t familiar with a lot of Japanese etiquette and manners. To teach Hannah about do’s and don’ts in Japan, Yuki introduces 7 Japanese etiquette tips you need to know and Hannah gives her impression of them from an American perspective. She’s learning so she can try these things when she meets Yuki’s Japanese family. If you know you’re going to be in close contact with Japanese people, you should learn these in order to make an excellent impression. Please read this and remember some Japanese etiquette not to be rude while visiting Japan!
1) Itadakimasu / Gochisou sama deshita
Itadakimasu is something you say before eating and Gochisou sama deshita is for after. It expresses appreciation for the food you’re going to have or just had and to the cook who made amazing food for you. I say these phrases to the family who cooked for me or to the chef in a restaurant. You can also say gochisou sama deshita to the restaurant staff right before you leave! Don’t forget to say these words especially, when someone bought dinner or food for you. If you go on a date with a Japanese guy they will definitely expect you to say gochisou sama deshita and it will be considered pretty rude if you don’t.
Hannah’s impression:
I love this phrase. I wish there was something similar in English. The closest I can think of is bon appetite or enjoy the meal. However, itadakimasu is a bit different because it’s not said to others but rather to yourself. It can roughly be translated to “I humbly receive” and is done to honor everything that has gone into the meal, including not only the effort of the person who prepared it but also the lives of the animals and plants, and the earth in general for providing food. It’s a beautiful reminder that nourishment is a gift.
2) Tadaima / Okaeri
Tadaima means I’m home and Okaeri means welcome back! You could also say Okaeri nasai which is a more polite form. We also use these phrases when someone goes abroad and comes back to Japan because Japan is our home.
3) Ojama shimasu / Ojama shimashita
Ojama shimasu is something you need to say when you enter someone’s house and Ojama shimashita is something you need to say before leaving someone’s house. It means thanks for your work and for inviting me to your personal space. You definitely should always say this when you go to someone’s house. It’s considered rude if you forget.
Hannah’s impression:
Again I like that there’s clear set phrases for many situations in Japanese, these being some of them. In English we say “Thanks for having me.”
4) Don’t stick your chopsticks vertically into rice while eating
My mom taught me this a thousand times when I was a child. It’s really rude to stick chopsticks into rice in a bowl because it symbolizes the bridge between the afterlife and this world. Sticking chopsticks in a vertical position like this is performed at budduist funerals, so please do not do it in Japan!
Hannah’s impression:
I didn’t know this and inadvertently insulted Yuki one of the first times we went out to eat together. We were at a poke bowl restaurant and I stuck the chopsticks right in the poke bowl. Yuki was surprised I was rude considering I knew a lot of other things about Japanese culture. I felt so awful. My American friend said “Yeah, Hannah, how can you be interested in Japan and not know.” They knew this custom from watching anime in high school. I don’t watch anime. I don’t do it anymore and it is now unsettling to me when I see it done.
5) Escalator lines on right side in Tokyo and left side in Osaka
In a lot of places in Japan it is common to stand up on the right side and walk on the left side on escalators. However, in the Kansai region such as in Osaka it is the opposite. This is pretty confusing, even for Japanese people. I always forget this when I go to Osaka and block people accidentally who want to walk on the escalator. So why is it different? One of the theories is that at the Osaka Expo in 1930, Osaka wanted to follow International Standards to prepare for many foreign visitors so that’s why Osaka is different. There are other theories too but who knows which one is true!
Hannah’s impression:
It’s kind of funny to me that this is a thing. Maybe I simply don’t know about it because I don’t live in a big city. People in the US tend to just stand in the middle of escalators. Unless there’s no one in front of you the expectation is that you will stand not walk.
6) Be quiet in public place
It’s a rule that you need to be quiet in public space such as in the train and bus. Obviously, you shouldn’t call someone while riding a train. No one will really say anything if you do, but a lot of people will be annoyed. Something I really enjoyed in NYC were the street performers which we don’t have in Japan because silence is king.
Hannah’s impression:
We have no such rule. Americans are loud. It’s our MO. During my time in Europe I felt like an undercover American because I wasn’t loud in public. I can’t tell you how many times I came across other Americans and knew they were Americans simply because they were being so loud. I never approached them because I was embarrassed for them.
7) Hold your plate while eating
You should hold your plate when you eat something. This is another one of the manners that my mom taught me when I was child. You can just touch your plate while eating or hold it close to your mouth. Before Japan was westernized it was common to eat from a tray while sitting on tatami mats. People opted to not use tables to better maintain the quality of the tatami. This is how the tradition of holding your dish while eating started. It’s necessary if you’re eating on the floor! Actually I’m kind of surprised that some countries consider it rude to do this while eating.
Hannah’s impression:
Honestly, this is kind of rude in the US. Holding a plate/bowl close to your mouth is not polite. It’s kind of off topic but slurping is also very rude. Most Americans don’t really care about manners though so it’s really not a big deal.
Thank you so much for reading this post. What is your impression and thoughts on these 7 etiquette customs in Japan? Please read this post again before going to Japan, so you remember the do’s and don’ts while traveling. Japanese people won’t be offended if you accidentally do something rude, but they’ll be happier if you know their customs and try to be polite.
Please also check out this article about Tokyo airports if you’re traveling to Japan for the first time! There are actually two main airports in Tokyo, one is called Haneda airport (HND), and the other Narita airport (NRT).
Have a nice day!