Tips for making it work, no matter how far away you are from each other
Many are quick to say that long-distance relationships suck or will never work out. Some people won’t even consider it as a viable option. While I doubt there’s anyone out there who prefers long-distance over face-to-face, it is sometimes the situation we find ourselves in. My fiance and I have been long-distance (about 6,554 miles ) for 16 months and counting.
Be positive!
It’s common to hear that long-distance relationships don’t work or that it’s a bad idea in all cases. While, yes, I agree that it’s not the most ideal situation to be in, it by no means equals relationship over! There are many reasons that couples either have to become long-distance or even start off that way! Whatever the circumstances, if both partners are committed to making it work it’s 100% possible. Don’t feel discouraged by having to be long-distance, it can actually be a great opportunity to learn about yourself and your partner and develop a deeper connection. It is what you make it.
Things we’ve learned through our international long-distance relationship
In this post, I wanted to share what I’ve found to be helpful keys to make a long-distance relationship not only work but to actually thrive. I hope these tips will help international couples who are in a long-distance relationship or couples who’ve been forced to become long distance because of covid-19.
A good relationship to start
Being long-distance is a strain on any relationship, so having a healthy one to start with is vital. If your relationship is marked by open communication, mutual support, understanding, and love, you’re in good shape to continue that even at a distance.
Confidence
If you aren’t confident your relationship will work long-distance then who will be? We all have moments of doubt but overall entering into a long-distance relationship with the expectation that it will work plays an important role in the end result. With confidence comes a willingness to put effort and time into the relationship making it much more likely to survive the long-haul.
A set date for closing the distance
A perpetually long distance relationship will not work. There has to be an end in sight. A lack of this shows that you don’t value the relationship that much. If you want to be together measures must be taken to make that possible. Every relationship is different and your reasons for being in different locations will be different too. The shorter the time apart the better if it can be helped, and sometimes it can’t be helped. But having that date to look forward to no matter how far off, offers so much value
A Schedule for communication
Discuss with your partner what both of you want for communication: the method and frequency. Some people like chatting on the phone while others prefer a text. Some need to hear from their partner multiple times a day, while others feel fine with a check in once a week.
All these variables will look different for each relationship. For example with Covid-19 wrecking havoc Yuki and I have a lot more free time than we normally do, so we talk 2x day. That might be way too much for some couples but it works for us! The only people who can tell you the right amount for your relationship is you and your partner. Don’t fret reading some random guide that prescribes: 3x/week or else. If the method you end up choosing isn’t working, discuss it. What I’m trying to say is, just talk to each other.
Do things together/projects
Since you can’t do things together in person having a project or something that you do together is so fun! You could watch a show together, read the same book and discuss, make the same meal, or start a small project. Part of the reason Yuki and I started this blog was because we wanted to do something together <3
Verbal affection
Distance can take away many aspects of how we as humans naturally interact. You cannot give your partner a kiss, hug or shoulder rub to show them you love them and think they’re cute. But distance does open up doors as well! It gives you the opportunity to learn how to show affection verbally, especially if it’s not your thing, view this time of the relationship as a chance to develop this skill. Since most of your interactions will be verbal in a long distance relationship it’s essential to be able to express to your partner how much they mean to you on the reg.
Sex
Sex is an important aspect in a romantic relationship and thanks to technology that doesn’t have to change just because you’re long-distance. Again, as with all other aspects of a relationship it’s important to discuss what you feel comfortable doing with your partner. If this is new territory for you it might feel awkward, but don’t let this deter you. Laugh at yourself, get creative and make it fun!
That’s it! These are the main things that have helped my long-distance relationship to develop and grow over our time apart. If you are about to start or are already in a long-distance relationship, I hope these have set your mind at ease and encouraged you to view this period as one of growth and potential.
If you want to know more about international long-distance relationships, please check this post on tips for international couples to make their long-distance relationships work. We shared honestly about our perspective and feelings on 7 things to expect in an international relationship. Please read this and get inspiration for what it’s like to be in a long-distance relationship with someone from a different country and learn what an international couple thinks about long-distance relationships.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you have a great day! Please let us know if you have any questions about international long-distance relationships. We’d love to help you.